I don't give advice very often. Listening to people, to my friends and family, associates and 'enemies', I'm constantly observing. How does he/she lead her life? Do they know truth? Do they know love? With some people, I'm relaxed and I feel completely comfortable. My comfort may come from many things, but I what I tap into the most is some one's presence. Let's say I'm with a friend and we are talking with one another but he or she is constantly getting texts, responding to these messages, or looking over my head to others around. Or, let's say I'm with a friend who's constantly expressing ideas with little substance, e.g. "This should be like this", "Why is this the way it is?", or "That's life". Maybe I'm losing you. The point I'm trying to make is that I can tell when someone is consumed by things that are probably not in his or her best interest; that they are not acting, living, and thinking in the present. I can feel their insecurities, their worry- their glass is half empty. However, I rarely try to change the thought process. Yes, I'm their friend and I care about them. Yes, I have strong convictions that if he or she did this or that, then things might be 'better'. In the end, though, it's only better in my eyes. What is good for me is most likely not good for another. I could talk to my friend for a long time and still have said nothing. I mean, I can be saying nothing right now. If they ask for help, I will give it. Always. I will choose my words with caution.
No one gave me advice. (Of course my mom and dad lead by example, but their worth is beyond words.) In the end, in my deepest shit, it was I who persevered. Not any other soul ran my race. Just me. Heck, I'm still running.
More later,
gabe
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1 comment:
Gabe, your pictures are stunning! I really like your blog format and layout. And that it plays music.
I think it's very mature and wise for you to have realized that 'better' is your better and not necessarily their's. In a way, I feel like your being a better friend by recognizing the difference. I've personally had a lot of friends try and impose their idea of the way I should be living my life...and I wasn't happier, just more miserable that I wasn't living up to their standards. (I really like the music btw, what is it?)
However, everything in balance. I think there are situations in which it good to tell people how you feel about the decisions they're making.
And I agree, the best time to tell them is when they ask.
Can I ask why this post was titled "the smell of eggs"?
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