the Lights are on; the Drapes are open

This summer has proven to be exceptionally trialing. Living with mom and dad again brings back the troubling past. Arguments, shouts, tears, minds in confusion, and words spoken too soon. We are not in the past, though. We are in the present.

[I am a significant part of the problem.]

I named this post, "the Lights are On; the Drapes are open".
One of my book shelves is in front of the window in my room. When I first moved back to the house, I would close the curtains each night and reopen them again in the morning but that became monotonous and I tired of caring. I used to be very concerned with potential eyes spying from a distance but I've since stopped caring too. I mean, the window doesn't face the street, but still, at one point that would unsettle me greatly. I also have the fan light on which is exceptionally brighter than my lamps. The naked window combined with the bright light make for a very vulnerable environment. However, I am vulnerable. I am strong, yes, but sometimes, especially these past weeks, I've been tested constantly and my flaws have shone brighter that normal. Mom and Dad see them. Dark colors are revealed to the ones I love most- the ones I feel most comfortable around.

I'm strong in that I accept my vulnerability and exist. I can simply be. I can also work on being more productive around the house to help out my parents, who give me everything.

more later,

gabriel